Toxic shame, also known as internalized shame, is, frankly, a bitch.
It's okay if it takes some time to figure out what's going on in your brain. Maybe if I tell you these things, I'll believe them too.
Sometimes I don’t hear what people actually say at all. All I hear what my internalized shame tells me they’re saying.
Is it me, my illness, or the hormones?
It's hard to love someone you kinda secretly (or not so secretly) hate.
Over the last decade, I have struggled with depression, anxiety, executive dysfunction, suicidal ideation, extreme sensitivity, and a deep-seated sense of self-loathing, and if you think I survived all that on my own, you are deeply mistaken.
I outlined a few of my favorite distraction and self-soothing tools in my latest HealthyPlace article "How I Use Distress Tolerance Coping Skills When Everything Is Too Much."
Before I started bullet journaling, I missed meetings regularly, racked up several late payment fees, and constantly felt like I was playing catch-up. Now, things aren't perfect, but I make it to most of my appointments and pay, like, 90% of my bills on time.
Just like how the lack of sunshine in the winter can mess with circadian rhythms and send people into a depression, the extra long days of summer can do the exact same thing.
I have trouble conceptualizing self-validation, and this was a lovely, weird little breakthrough.