I have a really hard time letting go of my excessive control over my impulses, and it makes it hard to just be a person.
Dissociation is a form of protection. We dissociate when our minds need to protect us from some aspect of our reality.
The thing about mental illness is that it can act like a giant magnet, completely skewing your internal emotional compass so that it's hard to distinguish between symptoms and regular emotions.
I'm grateful to my terrific therapist, my wonderful husband, my relentlessly supportive friends, and I'm grateful to myself, for doing this difficult work.
I'm learning that reacting to my emotions doesn't actually get rid of them or spare me from that fear, it just adds a layer of confusion and shame.
When it comes to coping with difficult emotions, changing your hair is a relatively safe, low-risk option.
Here's the gist: do not be an asshole to people who are already suffering.
I'm not trying to be a pessimist, I'm just trying to be prepared.
I've heard this saying a lot, and I really like the idea of it, but actually doing it...that's another story.
I feel like my brain is just constantly processing and coping and that's great, really, my life is so much better now than it was five or even just one year ago because of this, but the result is just constant exhaustion.