I feel like my brain is just constantly processing and coping and that's great, really, my life is so much better now than it was five or even just one year ago because of this, but the result is just constant exhaustion.
I'm a freezer. My brain has learned that fighting almost always makes the situation worse, and running betrays the panic I feel inside which could also make things worse, so I just freeze up.
Overall, life has been really good lately. Chaotic and full of big changes, sure, but good in that way that makes your soul feel warm.
How seriously are you supposed to take these kinds of thoughts when you know you don't really want to die, but at the same time, the idea of continuing to exist as your horrible self fills you with dread and rage?
When it comes to my anger, one of my best tools is actually Dungeons and Dragons.
Sometimes I feel like it should be easier to be a human.
I often completely forget that I am trapped in a meat cage.
Even when life is hard, life is good.
I think I had so much to do that I didn't even think about it, I just started checking things off my list as fast as I could.
Yep, I've officially started falling behind on BEDS.