social justice

An Open Letter to My Friends and Family Who Are Hosting Parties During a Pandemic

You should not be hosting a party right now.

I’m done tip-toeing around your feelings. You need to wear a mask, social distance, and stay home whenever you can. Choosing not to do so is selfish and short-sighted, and when someone you know gets sick or dies because of your carelessness, you will have to live with that guilt forever.

The only reason you think things “aren’t that bad” or this whole thing is “overblown” is because people like me are doing our part to keep you safe. If everyone behaved like you do, thousands more would be dead.

I do not care if you find this judgy. There are some things (many things, actually) that are more important than my tone or your opinion of me. If you think the pandemic is a hoax or mandatory masks and gathering limitations are a restriction of your freedoms, you are being blinded by your personal experience. Just because no one you personally know has died, you are willing to believe it isn’t as big of a deal.

As if 618,000 human lives don’t matter just because they weren’t your mom or your brother or me.

I am done being polite. You don’t deserve it. If you don’t see me at the parties you’re hosting in the upcoming months, this is why. Because I’m trying to keep you safe, even while you are actively putting people in harm’s way. Because even though you don’t deserve my respect or my kindness, you deserve to live. You deserve to be safe from this virus. I can’t make you take care of yourself, but I can do my part and stay away from your large, reckless gatherings.

I get that canceling these parties would suck. I get that you have some seriously major things you want to celebrate. Graduations, weddings, birthdays, etc. But what good is a party now if half the attendees are dead later?

I’m sorry, does that feel too dramatic to you? Okay, what if 10 people at your party die? What about 2? What about 1? Are you comfortable saying that definitely won’t happen? Or are you comfortable risking it? Who would you be okay with losing?

I am so angry. I am so angry that you are hosting parties and then making me the bad guy for not coming. As if I don’t care about you. I am staying away specifically because I care about you, even though you have made it abundantly clear you don’t care about me, or my husband, or our baby.

Do what you want. But I am judging you, and I am angry with you, and the rifts you are sowing in our relationship now will not magically disappear when the vaccine comes out.

I will not forget that a party was more important to you than the health and safety of me and my family and the countless others you come into contact with, maskless, every day.

5 thoughts on “An Open Letter to My Friends and Family Who Are Hosting Parties During a Pandemic”

  1. Megan I appreciate your courage in speaking out about this issue! I am discovering that the lines of friendships are being re-drawn by this issue. I am aghast at neighbors in my apartment building who go in the elevator and hallway without masks and walk around like all is just fine. They give those of us who do wear masks an odd look. Even the preachy know it all neighbor, who is always telling others what to do, does not wear a mask in shared public spaces. The research shows that the virus can linger in the air for some time afterwards so they could be leaving toxic trails that linger after they have walked away.

    I don’t know if people are dense or selfish or in denial maybe. Thanks for speaking out on this and sharing your views!

    Liked by 1 person

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