All told, I think there are approximately 7,631 reasons we resist mental illness recovery, so more “Resisting Recovery” posts may be in order, but for now, Resisting Recovery: Choosing the Devil You Know is my last piece of this series. It focuses on one of the most difficult parts of recovery that I feel like a lot of people shy away from discussing because it can feel a little shameful: resisting recovery because part of you would rather just stay sick.
Rest assured, this is nothing to be ashamed of. Is it ideal? Well, no, of course not, but will shaming yourself and beating yourself up about it make it any better? No, of course not. This is a very natural part of recovery for many people, and I think we need to talk about it more. It’s easy to feel weak and pathetic when you’re in this space, but the truth is, your brain is just clinging to whatever comfort it can find amidst all the pain your illness causes. I promise, when you’re ready, you’ll let go of the comforts of illness and take on the discomforts of getting better, of healing, of moving forward instead of running in place.